Part 2 - The Challenge of Emotions Clip 3 - Fireproof: "I Want Out" Next Video: Defining Relational Wisdom  Clip 4 It's Not About the Nail Clip 5 Les Miserables: "I Give You Back to God" Clip 6 Spanglish: "No Space Between Us" Clip 7 Awareness Test Clip 8...
RW Blog
Strike the Shepherd
The church pays a heavy price every time a pastor is forced out of his pulpit. Consider these sobering statistics: 23 percent of all current pastors in the United States have been fired or forced to resign in the past.1 The average pastoral tenure in a local church...
Gospel Outpouring
Relational wisdom is an outpouring of the gospel. It is one of the primary blessings unleashed through faith in Christ and therefore has the potential to transform every aspect of our lives. To understand how good this news is, we need to first understand the truth...
Defusing Explosive Meetings
Have you ever been in a meeting that was about to explode? You could feel the tension building with each person’s comments and knew it was just a matter of time before the dynamite went off. It might have been a conversation with your spouse or teenager. Maybe it...
Use Noah’s GPS
Noah beat Garmin to the punch. Abraham got the jump on TomTom. And Moses was way ahead of Magellan. What on earth am I talking about? Navigation systems. If it’s in your car or on your phone, you know it as a GPS (Global Positioning System). It’s probably made by...
Alone Yet Not Alone
Joni Eareckson Tada’s superb new song, Alone Yet Not Alone, is stirring up a lot of controversy in Hollywood. I hope it stirs you up as well by reminding you of God’s faithful presence in your life. The song was written for a recent movie by the same title. It’s...
R Before I
When I’m in a business, church, or ministry meeting, my tendency is to get to the issues as quickly as possible. If I give into this urge, I usually regret it. When we rush into addressing business or ministry issues before we’ve connected with others at a heart...
I Am Christ’s!
I wake up some mornings and feel overwhelmed before I even get out of bed. Ministry challenges, relational concerns, personal weaknesses, past failures and future tests swirl through my mind, causing me to doubt myself and fear the day. Time and again, I’ve found...
Are You Relational or Informational?
Many pastors are much better at imparting information than they are at building relationships. They are comfortable in their studies. They love their books. They pride themselves on their sound doctrine. They come alive in the pulpit as they proclaim “the wisdom of...
Saving Mr. Banks
Disney’s newest movie, Saving Mr. Banks, provides an excellent opportunity for discussing relational wisdom and sharing the gospel of Christ. The movie is built around the contentious relationship between Walt Disney and Pamela L. Travers, the author of the beloved...
Wired to Be 3D: RW and Tri-Perspectivalism
God designed us to be three-dimensional in our relationships. Align yourself with this design, and your relationships prosper. Ignore it and they will inevitably suffer. The is the uniform message of Holy Scripture, early church patriarchs, and more recent theologians...
Wired to be 3D
A slightly expanded version of this post is available here. God designed us to be three-dimensional in our relationships. Align yourself with this design, and your relationships prosper. Ignore it and they inevitably suffer. The 3D’s Are Everywhere From Genesis to...
Two Acts of Kindness
Network news bombards us daily with so many reports of immorality, corruption, and violence that it's easy to become discouraged about the condition and direction of our world. But I'm convinced that for every negative report the networks broadcast, there are...
Reagan, Lincoln, RW and You
Study Ronald Reagan and Abraham Lincoln and you’ll learn a great deal about how to relate to your spouse, children, co-workers, and the people next door. Both men displayed their exceptional relational skills on the world stage. Lincoln led our country through the...
Ready to Be Robbed
Jessica Eaves was recently robbed in her local grocery story. But she was ready … not with a Taser but with the Word of God. It happened so quickly. As she examined an item on a shelf, a stranger came up behind her and took her wallet out of her purse, which she had...
Reconcilosec
Here is an easy, painless, and guaranteed way to deal with the relational challenges of the holidays (if video screen does not appear below, click here). Actually, there is no such thing as an easy, painless, and guaranteed way to deal with relational challenges. Like...
The Perfect Present
Are you already dreading the challenge of holiday shopping? Finding the right gifts for people who already have more stuff than they know what to do with? Then let me suggest a gift that your family, friends, and co-workers will remember long after the tree comes...
Do a 180
Sin-tainted emotions often provide helpful navigation points … and excellent opportunities to practice the six core skills of relational wisdom. When you realize that you are feeling anger, bitterness, jealousy, contempt, or any other negative or distressing...
Parting in Peace
My big brother died three days ago. Steve was diagnosed with cancer in 1999 and was told he had only a year to live. Not willing to leave his family so soon, he fought this enemy to a standstill for fourteen years, thanking God for every extra day he enjoyed with...
Papa, Clean Me!
Andrew, my two-and-half-year-old grandson, came across a fresh pile of dog poo in the yard last week. Having been told repeatedly to stay away from dog piles, he of course felt an irresistible desire to step on it and squish it around. Not liking the odor, he walked...
Gentle Shepherding
Tom called me for advice on how to deal with a church elder’s daughter who was pregnant out of wedlock. Half of his elder board was insisting that she appear before them to confess her sin. The other half, including her father, wanted her to simply write a letter of...
RW Acrostics in Action
When emotions rise, rational thinking usually plummets. This is why I summarized the key principles in my book, The Peacemaker, as simple acrostics, such as the Seven A’s of Confession and the Four Promises of Forgiveness, which people can recall and apply even when...
Don’t Overlook
A lot of Christian leaders are being abruptly removed from their posts these days. Pastors, seminary presidents, ministry CEOs. In many cases, they were fired without warning. One day things seemed to be going along just fine, and then suddenly they were told that...
RW … More Than Being Nice
A few days ago, a friend asked me if relational wisdom isn’t simply “being nice.†He’d recently read my “Serving a Barista†post, which gave him the impression that relational wisdom applies only to the easy, pleasant encounters of life. “Nothing could...
R U Morally Superior?
There is one thing you must do in order to judge others, hold a grudge or indulge bitterness. You must constantly affirm yourself as being morally superior to the person you are condemning. You must think … “I have the right to judge you, because I am morally...
A Time for Peace or War?
The following article is adapted from an article I wrote in the aftermath of the 9/11 attacks. I have revised it in light of the debate regarding Syria. While the geographical focus has changed from the U.S. to the Middle East, many of the issues and peacemaking...
Are You Velcro or Teflon?
Kelly can be one of the best friends in the world. She’s thoughtful, caring, and always eager to encourage and serve others. The people in her Bible study and small group always look forward to seeing her, and her coworkers think she is one of the most pleasant...