When Corlette and I were raising and educating our children, we struggled far more with relational challenges than we did with academic content. Put four sinful people together in the same home and the relational tensions will easily eclipse educational issues. Our background in conflict resolution was helpful (both Corlette and I have written books…(Read More)
Cindy and Alicia, both seventeen, walked out of the mall after a fun afternoon of shopping. Just as they reached Cindy’s car in the parking lot, two young men drove by on motorcycles. One of them knew Cindy from school, so they stopped to talk. After a few minutes of casual chatter, one of…(Read More)
Thousands of high school and college seniors are about to graduate and launch into the next season of their lives. Most of them are less prepared for that transition than they realize. Regardless of how well they’ve done academically, most graduates today suffer from a condition called “artificial maturity.†Thousands of hours on the…(Read More)
What is the greatest legacy you could pass on to your children and grandchildren? Lavish Christmas presents? Money? Property? Investments? Family name? Social or business connections? Nope. None of these items is guaranteed to bless others. In fact, all of these things could become a snare or a stumbling block if your children don’t…(Read More)
When Corlette and I were raising and educating our children, we struggled far more with relational challenges than we did with academic content. Put four imperfect people together in the same home and the relational tensions will easily eclipse educational issues. Our background in conflict resolution was helpful (both Corlette and I have written books…(Read More)
One of the catchiest videos I’ve ever seen is entitled, “Gotta Love Millennials.†Sung to the old Beatles tune, Obladi-Oblada, its opening stanza provides a humorous picture of a stereotypical Millennial: There he sits inside your local coffee shop Sporting a man bun and facial hair Somehow he believes although he has no…(Read More)
During the last months of my son’s senior year in high school, Jeff had a lot of conflict with his mother. As a result I was doing more mediation at home than I was through my conciliation ministry. Night after night the three of us applied principles of confession, forgiveness and negotiation. And…(Read More)
How much do you trust God? Really? Do you trust him as much as a blind teenage racer trusts her seeing-eye dog? Sami Stoner lost her eyesight just as she entered the eighth grade. She had to face the fact that she would never get a driver’s license, never again do her own…(Read More)
Do you sometimes find it difficult to understand your emotions … much less those of your teenager, spouse, coworkers or friends? Well, Disney and Pixar have just given you a vehicle to explore this issue at a whole new level. Their newest film, Inside Out, provides an entertaining and thought-provoking way to begin a discussion…(Read More)
When was the last time you did something that was so amazingly kind that others will remember your actions the rest of their lives? If it’s been awhile, I encourage you to take two minutes to watch a video clip of some young men who refused to play basketball against another team … as an…(Read More)
If you’d like to see some vivid examples of relational wisdom, be sure to see Disney’s latest release, McFarland, U.S.A. The movie is based on the true story of a 1987 cross country team from a predominantly Mexican-American high school in McFarland, California. Kevin Costner stars as coach Jim White…(Read More)
Fear usually triggers one of three reactions: control, anger or withdrawal (the latter two actually being forms of the first). This is a key insight for improving both your self-awareness and your other-awareness: whenever you encounter control, anger, or withdrawal, it is usually a sign of fear, either in yourself or others. Once…(Read More)
One of the many joys I had last year was seeing my 20-year-old son teaching relational wisdom to business managers and top high school students. RW in the Workplace In November, Jeff and I flew to California, where we had the privilege of presenting a Discovering RW Seminar to twenty-five managers and…(Read More)
My daughter was sitting on the floor in my study crying softly. Megan had been sharing a sad story with me, and her emotions overflowed in tears. Her two-year-old son, Andrew, was playing in his room nearby. When he heard his mother crying, he pulled some tissues from a Kleenex box, walked into…(Read More)
I’ve seen a lot of foolish behavior during my thirty-two years as a professional conciliator. Like the man who divorced his lovely wife to marry a woman who had already been married and divorced six times. When I asked him whether he saw a pattern in her life, he said, “Yes I see…(Read More)
Jessica Long was born in Siberia … without legs. Left at a grim orphanage as a baby, she’s gone on to win twelve gold medals. I’d give her a thirteenth, in relational wisdom. Born as Tatiana Kirillovain 1992, Jessica was placed in an orphanage because of her birth defect. She was adopted by Beth…(Read More)
Do people feel relationally safe in your home? Your church? Your school? Your business? Is it the place they long to come to when the problems of the world seem overwhelming? Is it a haven of understanding, acceptance, and security? It can be. Your home, church, school or business can be like the classroom that…(Read More)
Children often demonstrate far more relational wisdom than adults. Simply compare the bullying scandal in the Miami Dolphins locker room with the remarkable sensitivity shown to a learning-disabled teen by the Olivet Eagles, a middle school football team from Olivet, Michigan. Watch this short clip, and these kids will show you how dying to…(Read More)
Cindy and Alicia, both seventeen, walked out of the mall after a fun afternoon of shopping. Just as they reached Cindy’s car in the parking lot, two young men drove by on motorcycles. One of them knew Cindy from school, so they stopped to talk. After a few minutes of casual chatter, one of…(Read More)
Today’s movie clip is one of my favorites. It illustrates several key relational skills, including empathy, self-control, and the use of perceptive questions rather than forceful arguments. The clip is taken from the movie, Spanglish. Its central character, Flor, is a single, Hispanic mother who has immigrated to the United States with her…(Read More)
What is the greatest legacy you could pass on to your children? Money? Property? Investments? Family name? Social or business connections? Nope. None of these items is guaranteed to bless your children. In fact, all of them could become a snare or a stumbling block if your children don’t know how to handle them…(Read More)
Do you know an impulsive teenager? A frustrated wife? A detached husband? A resentful employee? A relationally clumsy pastor? If so, read on. Six years ago I developed a relational tool called “the SOG plan†as an alternative to selling my teenage daughter. When Megan hit fifteen, her emotions went into hyper-drive. Her limbic…(Read More)
