When Corlette and I were raising and educating our children, we struggled far more with relational challenges than we did with academic content. Put four sinful people together in the same home and the relational tensions will easily eclipse educational issues. Our background in conflict resolution was helpful (both Corlette and I have written books…(Read More)
Cinderella Man is packed with examples of relational wisdom. Russell Crowe plays the part of a real life hero named James J. Braddock. Once a successful heavyweight boxer, Braddock was reduced to poverty by a broken hand and the Great Depression. After losing their home, he and his family were forced to live in a…(Read More)
Thousands of high school and college seniors are about to graduate and launch into the next season of their lives. Most of them are less prepared for that transition than they realize. Regardless of how well they’ve done academically, most graduates today suffer from a condition called “artificial maturity.†Thousands of hours on the…(Read More)
What is the greatest legacy you could pass on to your children and grandchildren? Lavish Christmas presents? Money? Property? Investments? Family name? Social or business connections? Nope. None of these items is guaranteed to bless others. In fact, all of these things could become a snare or a stumbling block if your children don’t…(Read More)
Your worldview is always operating in the background of daily life. It gives rise to the beliefs and values that guide your attitudes and behavior, which determine the quality of your relationships. This combination of worldview, beliefs and values also determines how you face the major challenges and crises of life. Such as three forms…(Read More)
There are two things you and I were never designed to experience: death and rejection. That is why they both feel so foreign and hurt so much: they are utterly contrary to what we were made for. When God created the world, everything in it was “very good†(Gen. 1:31). Neither physical death nor…(Read More)
I’ve met with hundreds of couples who were struggling to save their marriages. One of the most common statements wives make in those meetings is, “There’s just no emotional connection between us. He hasn’t got a clue what I’m feeling or thinking.” In all too many cases, that statement has been…(Read More)
When Corlette and I were raising and educating our children, we struggled far more with relational challenges than we did with academic content. Put four imperfect people together in the same home and the relational tensions will easily eclipse educational issues. Our background in conflict resolution was helpful (both Corlette and I have written books…(Read More)
Mom’s Night Out (not to be confused with Bad Moms) provides some superb examples of relational wisdom … especially by a big, tattooed biker. The movie involves three mothers who decide they need a night away from their kids. In order to enjoy high heels, adult conversation and food not served in a bag, they…(Read More)
A five year-old child was sitting alone in a room with a marshmallow placed a few inches in front of her. She was told that she could eat it immediately, but if she waited just fifteen minutes, she would be rewarded with an additional marshmallow. Six hundred other children were invited onto the campus…(Read More)
When he was two-and-half-years-old, my grandson, Andrew, came across a fresh pile of dog poo in the yard. Having been told repeatedly to stay away from dog piles, he of course felt an irresistible desire to step on it and squish it around. Not liking the odor, he walked across the…(Read More)
During the last months of my son’s senior year in high school, Jeff had a lot of conflict with his mother. As a result I was doing more mediation at home than I was through my conciliation ministry. Night after night the three of us applied principles of confession, forgiveness and negotiation. And…(Read More)
Sexual abuse in the church does not have to end in broken lives, agonizing lawsuits, and divided congregations. When people follow God’s ways and words, these terrible incidents can result in healing, justice, and healthier churches. When victims of abuse first come forward, I have found that most of them are seeking four reasonable…(Read More)
Do you sometimes find it difficult to understand your emotions … much less those of your teenager, spouse, coworkers or friends? Well, Disney and Pixar have just given you a vehicle to explore this issue at a whole new level. Their newest film, Inside Out, provides an entertaining and thought-provoking way to begin a discussion…(Read More)
There are two things you and I were never designed to experience: death and rejection. That is why they both feel so foreign and hurt so much: they are utterly contrary to what we were made for. When God created the world, everything in it was “very good†(Gen. 1:31). Neither physical death nor…(Read More)
I recently learned that I have stage IV cancer. A month ago a surgeon removed my thyroid and over forty lymph nodes. Radiation treatment should begin in a few days. Then a week of isolation until the radioactive iodine leaves my system. Then the waiting begins … Not something I would have chosen on my…(Read More)
My daughter was sitting on the floor in my study crying softly. Megan had been sharing a sad story with me, and her emotions overflowed in tears. Her two-year-old son, Andrew, was playing in his room nearby. When he heard his mother crying, he pulled some tissues from a Kleenex box, walked into…(Read More)
If my wife sees a picture of a snake, she instantly recoils. Sometimes she actually screams … because of a picture. You can imagine what she does when she sees a real snake … Why would a picture evoke such a strong response. Part of the reason has to do with the way our brains…(Read More)
I’ve seen a lot of foolish behavior during my thirty-two years as a professional conciliator. Like the man who divorced his lovely wife to marry a woman who had already been married and divorced six times. When I asked him whether he saw a pattern in her life, he said, “Yes I see…(Read More)
Children often demonstrate far more relational wisdom than adults. Simply compare the bullying scandal in the Miami Dolphins locker room with the remarkable sensitivity shown to a learning-disabled teen by the Olivet Eagles, a middle school football team from Olivet, Michigan. Watch this short clip, and these kids will show you how dying to…(Read More)
Many of us have no idea how often we wound the people around us. We don’t deliberately set out to hurt others, but because of our natural insensitivity, we frequently stomp on others’ dreams and feelings without even realizing it. The following video clip illustrates this problem … and how to correct it. It’s…(Read More)
Today’s movie clip is one of my favorites. It illustrates several key relational skills, including empathy, self-control, and the use of perceptive questions rather than forceful arguments. The clip is taken from the movie, Spanglish. Its central character, Flor, is a single, Hispanic mother who has immigrated to the United States with her…(Read More)
What is the greatest legacy you could pass on to your children? Money? Property? Investments? Family name? Social or business connections? Nope. None of these items is guaranteed to bless your children. In fact, all of them could become a snare or a stumbling block if your children don’t know how to handle them…(Read More)
Cinderella Man is one of my favorite movies, largely because it stars Russell Crowe, one of my favorite actors. The story is based on the life of James J. Braddock. Once a successful heavyweight boxer, Braddock was reduced to poverty by a broken hand and the Great Depression. After losing their home, he and his…(Read More)
Megan had switched on a force field that put the Starship Enterprise to shame. It had been another one of our difficult home-schooling days…(Read More)
