Cindy and Clark went to their pastor, Paul, for marriage counseling (names changed but story used by permission). After several meetings, the three of them somehow reached the inexplicable conclusion that the solution to their marital distress was to give their newborn baby up for adoption … to the pastor’s daughter and son-in-law…(Read More)
It’s not often that an attorney loses a lawsuit, along with her two million dollar contingency fee, and yet walks away satisfied. I’ve seen similar satisfaction with employees who didn’t get a promotion. With church members who disagreed with their pastors. And with children who could not escape discipline. The relationship-saving…(Read More)
Churches and ministries (as well as married couples) could learn a vital lesson from the U.S. State Department. Chip Zimmer, our ministry’s Vice President, worked for the State Department from 1990-2001, serving in diplomatic posts in Africa and Latin America. In light of last week’s evacuation of the families of U…(Read More)
I’ve been in the middle of hundreds of conflicts. Divorces, custody battles, business lawsuits, forced pastoral exits, church splits, nonprofit disintegrations … you name it, I’ve seen Christians fight over it. After many long and difficult mediations, I learned that there was one factor that usually made the difference between seeing either genuine reconciliation…(Read More)
Sexual abuse in the church does not have to end in broken lives, agonizing lawsuits, and divided congregations. When people follow God’s ways and words, these terrible incidents can result in healing, justice, and healthier churches. When victims of abuse first come forward, I have found that most of them are seeking four reasonable…(Read More)
I love it when ordinary Christians use simple biblical principles to solve relational problems that have stumped corporate presidents and highly trained professionals. That’s exactly what a woman named Diane did when two coworkers were about to lose their jobs. Here is the testimony she shared with me. I recently learned about two scientists…(Read More)
I’m pleased to announce the formation of a new ministry partnership with Crossroads Resolution Group LLC. This relationship expands our ability to provide churches, ministries, and businesses with professional, biblically-grounded conflict resolution services. CRG is led by two gifted conciliators with whom I had the privilege to work while leading Peacemaker Ministries, who…(Read More)
I recently sent out an impulsive and sin-tainted email to a group of people whom I dearly love. Two brothers quickly and gently confronted me. I then had the humbling experience of emailing a detailed confession to the same group of people. But the embarrassment I felt was worth the blessing of receiving this…(Read More)
One of the most dramatic reconciliations I ever witnessed involved five brothers and a sister who were fighting over their parents’ estate. Their relationship had deteriorated so badly that one brother nearly assaulted his siblings with a baseball bat. But then God did something amazing through a relationally wise pastor. I chronicled their story in…(Read More)
It’s not often that an attorney loses a lawsuit, along with her two million dollar contingency fee, and yet walks away satisfied. I’ve seen similar satisfaction with employees who didn’t get a promotion. With church members who disagreed with their pastors. And with children who could not escape discipline. The relationship-saving…(Read More)
Josh was slowly crumbling under a steady barrage of criticism. For a few weeks after he began as pastor, the people at his new church seemed friendly and supportive. But Josh soon discovered that many of them were perpetually dissatisfied. They constantly questioned his leadership and complained about weak sermons, unmet needs, or a lack…(Read More)
