Posts Currently viewing the tag: "Other-awareness"

  Many pastors are much better at imparting information than they are at building relationships. They are comfortable in their studies. They love their books. They pride themselves on their sound doctrine. They come alive in the pulpit as they proclaim “the wisdom of God” through carefully-crafted sermons. But when it comes to engaging…(Read More)

Would you like to move beyond superficial conversation during your Thanksgiving gathering this year? Would you like to connect deeply with your family and friends and hear them share stories about the most meaningful people and events of their lives? If so, give each of your guests a copy of these ten questions and watch…(Read More)

Includes 90 “Getting-to-Know-Others” Questions! Many of us waste golden opportunities to deepen relationships during family, church and business conversations. How? We ask generic questions of one another that produce superficial information: “Where are you from?” “What kind of work do you do?” “How long have you been in town?” “Where are you…(Read More)

If you want to diminish the value of a confession, use one of these three phrases. “I’m sorry if I’ve done something to upset you.” When you use “if” in a confession, what people often hear is, “I don’t know that I’ve done anything wrong, but since you’re obviously upset…(Read More)

I have dozens of passports, and I need to renew them constantly. No, I’m not James Bond or Jason Bourne. I don’t fly from country to country using alternative identities to evade the NSA, CIA, or MI6. I just love people. I enjoy meeting, understanding, encouraging and helping them. And for that I…(Read More)

She stood in line quietly crying, holding onto a metal sign to steady herself. I’d just arrived at the airport gate, ready to catch my flight back to Billings. As I waited for my zone to be called, I noticed her wiping the tears from her cheeks. She was a complete stranger, so I…(Read More)

Would you like to move beyond superficial conversation during your Thanksgiving gathering this year? Would you like to connect deeply with your family and friends and hear them share stories about the most meaningful people and events of their lives? If so, give each of your guests a copy of these ten questions and watch…(Read More)

Your worldview is always operating in the background of daily life. It gives rise to the beliefs and values that guide your attitudes and behavior, which determine the quality of your relationships. This combination of worldview, beliefs and values also determines how you face the major challenges and crises of life. Such as three forms…(Read More)

Today you are going to meet people who are hiding great emotional and relational pain. They will typically smile and say a few superficial words, but they will seldom reveal their inner struggles … usually because they do not believe you would understand or really care. As they walk away, you will have missed an…(Read More)

Most of us are blind to our own poor relational skills. As a result, we often fail to see how our behavior impacts the people around us and undermines our witness for Christ. One of the best ways to counteract our self-blindness is to ask for candid feedback from those around us. Their answers…(Read More)

Years ago I completed a particularly sad divorce mediation. The husband had tried for years to meet his wife’s expectations, but she was adept at finding fault with everything he did. Shortly after our final meeting, I read an article in Country Magazine in which M.G. Creight described her husband with wonderfully warm…(Read More)

Every relationship has a limited amount of social capital. Among other things, this means that you need to exercise wisdom in how often you initiate uncomfortable conversations with those around you, whether in your family, church or workplace. Think of it like this: imagine that you can spend only “three pennies of criticism” in a…(Read More)

I often warn people that when they start studying relational wisdom, real growth comes through “homework.” That’s what happened last week to a young woman I’ll call “Susan” (all names changed), who just shared this story with me. Susan’s boss, Barbara, asked her to make travel arrangements for a trip involving their…(Read More)