To find your greatest weakness, first identify your greatest strength and then look right behind it. That’s one of the tragic results of sin: it twists our strengths into weaknesses, just as (-1) x 100 becomes -100. Are you highly intelligent and well-studied in the Bible? Look out, because your knowledge can puff…(Read More)
I recently received a complaint from a woman who I will call Ruth (not her real name) regarding a video clip I used in one of my blog posts. The video is called It’s Not about the Nail. It features a graphic metaphor built around a woman with a nail in her forehead and…(Read More)
To find your greatest weakness, first identify your greatest strength and then look right behind it. That’s one of the tragic results of sin: it twists our strengths into weaknesses, just as (-1) x 100 becomes -100. Are you highly intelligent and well-studied in the Bible? Look out, because your knowledge can puff…(Read More)
Adversity tends to pull us down. It hurts when others sin against us, take us for granted, fail to stand up for us, or break their commitments to us. Such treatment can easily cause us to feel discouraged, bitter or depressed. But there is a way to convert these kinds of unpleasant feelings into heartfelt…(Read More)
In today’s movie clip, Will Smith demonstrates the enormous benefit relational wisdom (RW) can have in the workplace. The clip comes from the movie Pursuit of Happiness. It is based on the true story of Chris Gardner. In the weeks leading up to this scene, he ran out of money and has been trying…(Read More)
Cinderella Man is packed with examples of relational wisdom. Russell Crowe plays the part of a real life hero named James J. Braddock. Once a successful heavyweight boxer, Braddock was reduced to poverty by a broken hand and the Great Depression. After losing their home, he and his family were forced to live in a…(Read More)
Kelly can be one of the best friends in the world. She’s thoughtful, caring, and always eager to encourage and serve others. The people in her Bible study and small group always look forward to seeing her, and her coworkers think she is one of the most pleasant people they’d ever known. But…(Read More)
The current political climate, at both state and national levels, has highlighted the close connection between politics, pride and emotion. In an outward sense, every politician is constantly striving to build credibility, prestige and influence by highlighting his or her abilities and positions while connecting with the values and emotions of the audience. In an…(Read More)
I recently learned what makes some of the most powerful people in the world cry. Dr. Michael Lindsay, President of Gordon College, has interviewed 550 of the most successful political, business, and nonprofit leaders in the United States. This group included two U.S. presidents, cabinet members like Collin Powell and Condoleezza Rice, and numerous…(Read More)
We all know the Golden Rule: “Do to others as you would have them do to you.†But do you know the Golden Result? It’s a direct corollary to the Golden Rule: “Other people will usually treat you the way you treat them.†Not always, but usually. Because that’s how God made us…(Read More)
Your worldview is always operating in the background of daily life. It gives rise to the beliefs and values that guide your attitudes and behavior, which determine the quality of your relationships. This combination of worldview, beliefs and values also determines how you face the major challenges and crises of life. Such as three forms…(Read More)
I share a lust with St. Augustine. Although he was a pillar of the church, he regularly prayed, “O Lord, deliver me from this lust of always vindicating myself.†We all inherited this lust from our original parents, who invented the art of excusing sin by blaming others (Gen. 3:9-13). I have struggled…(Read More)
Have you ever been in a meeting that was about to explode? You could feel the tension building with each person’s comments and knew it was just a matter of time before the dynamite went off. It might have been a conversation with your spouse or teenager. Maybe it was a staff meeting at…(Read More)
“The last of the human freedoms is to choose one’s attitude.” So wrote Viktor Frankl, an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist who survived the Holocaust, living through the deprivation and horrors of both Auschwitz and Dachau. Consider the background for his writing about freedom. His wife, parents and brother were killed by the Nazis. His…(Read More)
I received a lot of positive feedback on last week’s post about a pastor who admitted his need for physical rest, spiritual renewal and relational retooling. One of the most insightful responses came from a different pastor’s wife, who described how both she and her husband also came close to burn out. I…(Read More)
It takes a great deal of humility, wisdom and courage for a popular pastor to admit that he is a “bruised reed†in desperate need of physical rest, spiritual renewal and relational retooling. That’s exactly what my friend Rankin Wilbourne did last Sunday … which catapulted my already-great respect for him to an even…(Read More)
Churches and ministries (as well as married couples) could learn a vital lesson from the U.S. State Department. Chip Zimmer, our ministry’s Vice President, worked for the State Department from 1990-2001, serving in diplomatic posts in Africa and Latin America. In light of last week’s evacuation of the families of U…(Read More)
Adversity tends to pull us down. It hurts when others sin against us, take us for granted, fail to stand up for us, or break their commitments to us. Such treatment can easily cause us to feel discouraged, bitter or depressed. But there is a way to convert these kinds of unpleasant feelings into heartfelt…(Read More)
I almost shot my car after one of our Montana blizzards. A foot of wet snow had fallen in just a few hours and the roads were impossible. I’d been out earlier in the day in my son’s Honda, and had struggled to make it up the long hill leading to our street…(Read More)
Many of our habits are spiritually neutral, such as the way we brush our teeth or the route we drive to work. Other life patterns clearly violate spiritual values, such as being addicted to drugs, alcohol or pornography, or reacting to correction with automatic anger or blame shifting. There are also habits that may be…(Read More)
My wife seemed to be testing my resolve. A month ago I decided that it was time to do battle with my love for candy. That meant not slipping into the pantry two or three times a day to raid the jar of M&M’s we keep for our grandson. I was doing…(Read More)
I was sitting on the patio of an expensive restaurant in Beirut. Six young Lebanese were sitting at the table next to us, glued to their smart phones. Not a word of conversation between them for minutes on end, a shared agreement that people elsewhere were more interesting than anyone at their table. Each of…(Read More)
A five year-old child was sitting alone in a room with a marshmallow placed a few inches in front of her. She was told that she could eat it immediately, but if she waited just fifteen minutes, she would be rewarded with an additional marshmallow. Six hundred other children were invited onto the campus…(Read More)
I often warn people that when they start studying relational wisdom, real growth comes through “homework.” That’s what happened last week to a young woman I’ll call “Susan” (all names changed), who just shared this story with me. Susan’s boss, Barbara, asked her to make travel arrangements for a trip involving their…(Read More)
During the last months of my son’s senior year in high school, Jeff had a lot of conflict with his mother. As a result I was doing more mediation at home than I was through my conciliation ministry. Night after night the three of us applied principles of confession, forgiveness and negotiation. And…(Read More)
The 2015/16 primary and presidential debates highlighted the close connection between politics, pride and emotion. In an outward sense, each of the many candidates was striving to build credibility, prestige and support by highlighting his or her abilities and connecting with the values and emotions of the audience. In an inward sense, even as…(Read More)
A friend may be writing a letter to me that I might not like. Although we’ve talked repeatedly, there are tensions between us that are still not resolved. Yesterday another acquaintance said my friend is composing a letter to me. He gave no details, just “He’s writing something for you.†Oh boy, what…(Read More)
To find your greatest weakness, first identify your greatest strength and then look right behind it. That’s one of the tragic results of sin: it twists our strengths into weaknesses, just as (-1) x 100 becomes -100. Are you highly intelligent and well-studied in the Bible? Look out, because your knowledge can puff…(Read More)
One of the hardest and yet most profitable questions you can ever ask another person is … “How did you experience me?†In other words … “Please tell me how I made you feel and what you were thinking about me during our recent interaction. I really want to know … even if you think…(Read More)
I recently learned what makes some of the most powerful people in the world cry. Dr. Michael Lindsay, President of Gordon College, has interviewed 550 of the most successful political, business, and nonprofit leaders in the United States. This group included two U.S. presidents, cabinet members like Collin Powell and Condoleezza Rice, and numerous…(Read More)