I failed a friend. Badly. No, not just badly … very badly. It took me a while to face it. When I finally realized what I’d done, embarrassment kept me from going to talk with him right away. So now I was doubly wrong. Failed to support him, and failed to admit it even when…(Read More)
At last he had his chance. Clutching his prepared statement in his hand, Mark sat down in the front pew, ready to get even with the elders (all names have been changed). Six months earlier they had refused to support his promotion to senior pastor. They had stood silently by when Mark was slandered in…(Read More)
If you want to diminish the value of a confession, use one of these three phrases. “I’m sorry if I’ve done something to upset you.†When you use “if” in a confession, what people often hear is, “I don’t know that I’ve done anything wrong, but since you’re obviously upset…(Read More)
The woman on the phone was crying so hard I could barely understand her. “You warned me,” she said over and over. “But I didn’t listen, and now it’s too late.” “To late for what?” I asked when she paused to take a breath. “When did I warn you? Why is it too…(Read More)
Whenever we’ve done something wrong, our natural instinct is to conceal, deny or minimize our guilt. This dynamic began with Adam and Eve and is painfully evident in the current race for the White House. Sadly, it is also displayed in many churches, where both pastors and parishioners often give in to the tendency…(Read More)
There is a simple way to test the sincerity of a confession … whether yours or someone else’s. How detailed is your plan for repentance? “For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret (turning from sin, growing in Christ-like character, and enjoying a clear conscience), whereas worldly grief produces death…(Read More)
Sexual abuse in the church does not have to end in broken lives, agonizing lawsuits, and divided congregations. When people follow God’s ways and words, these terrible incidents can result in healing, justice, and healthier churches. When victims of abuse first come forward, I have found that most of them are seeking four reasonable…(Read More)
I love it when ordinary Christians use simple biblical principles to solve relational problems that have stumped corporate presidents and highly trained professionals. That’s exactly what a woman named Diane did when two coworkers were about to lose their jobs. Here is the testimony she shared with me. I recently learned about two scientists…(Read More)
“You warned me. You warned me. And I didn’t listen. Now it’s too late. She’s dead and I’ll never be able to say I’m sorry.†The woman was sobbing so hard on the other end of the telephone line that I could hardly understand her words. But as she calmed…(Read More)
I’ve seen a lot of leadership transitions over the past thirty years. Like the characters in an old Clint Eastwood western, they generally fell into one of three categories: The Good, the Bad, and the Clumsy (which often turned ugly). Bad Transitions Bad transitions usually involved one or more players with malicious motives. Like…(Read More)
Someone on my team had blown it. Not ethically or morally. He had simply taken too long to complete some significant tasks, which put one of our clients in an awkward position in a mediation case. Our staff member’s attempts to apologize to the client seemed to fall on deaf ears. Since the “buck…(Read More)
Tom called me for advice on how to deal with a church elder’s daughter who was pregnant out of wedlock. Half of his elder board was insisting that she appear before them to confess her sin. The other half, including her father, wanted her to simply write a letter of confession. The young woman…(Read More)
It’s pretty hard to find a good confession in a modern movie … but here’s a great one. This clip comes from the movie Fireproof. Kirk Cameron plays a young fireman whose marriage is falling apart due to his selfishness, insensitivity, addiction to pornography, and violent temper. Erin Bethea plays his wife, Catherine, who…(Read More)
If you want to make a confession utterly worthless, use one of these three phrases. “I’m sorry if I’ve done something to upset you.†When you use these words, what people hear is, “I don’t know that I’ve done anything wrong, but since you’re obviously upset, here’s a token…(Read More)
I failed a friend. Badly. No, not just badly … very badly. It took me a while to face it. When I finally realized what I’d done, embarrassment kept me from going to talk with him right away. So now I was doubly wrong. Failed to support him, and failed to admit it even when…(Read More)
