I learned the hard way how easy it is to breach a dam. When I was fourteen, my dad hired a contractor to enlarge a stock pond on our ranch by building a dam. It was ten feet high and thirty feet thick at its base. As the pond filled, we discovered that the dirt…(Read More)
One of the most popular features of our training program is that we summarize all of our key principles in simple acrostics that can be easily memorized and applied in every day life. Here is a report from a man on how these concepts helped him to respond constructively to a frustrating spouse, a challenging…(Read More)
“The last of the human freedoms is to choose one’s attitude.” So wrote Viktor Frankl, an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist who survived the Holocaust, living through the deprivation and horrors of both Auschwitz and Dachau. Consider the background for his writing about freedom. His wife, parents and brother were killed by the Nazis. His…(Read More)
Mom’s Night Out (not to be confused with Bad Moms) provides some superb examples of relational wisdom … especially by a big, tattooed biker. The movie involves three mothers who decide they need a night away from their kids. In order to enjoy high heels, adult conversation and food not served in a bag, they…(Read More)
When he was two-and-half-years-old, my grandson, Andrew, came across a fresh pile of dog poo in the yard. Having been told repeatedly to stay away from dog piles, he of course felt an irresistible desire to step on it and squish it around. Not liking the odor, he walked across the…(Read More)
I often warn people that when they start studying relational wisdom, real growth comes through “homework.” That’s what happened last week to a young woman I’ll call “Susan” (all names changed), who just shared this story with me. Susan’s boss, Barbara, asked her to make travel arrangements for a trip involving their…(Read More)
During the last months of my son’s senior year in high school, Jeff had a lot of conflict with his mother. As a result I was doing more mediation at home than I was through my conciliation ministry. Night after night the three of us applied principles of confession, forgiveness and negotiation. And…(Read More)
Corlette and I have very different depth perception. A car that I see as being a hundred feet away she sees as being a hundred inches away. So when I’d make a left turn with a car coming towards us in the opposite lane, she would tense up, grab the door handle, and jam…(Read More)
One of the greatest blessings of my recent time in South Africa was seeing how quickly people were applying relational wisdom to vital life issues, such as social injustice, racism, family disintegration, church leadership and evangelism. I was especially impressed by the insights of Kyle Johnston, a young pastor who leads the counseling ministry at…(Read More)
Last week I had the privilege of reading how one of our newest Approved Presenters has been applying relational wisdom with dozens of people, including his indecisive wife, a challenging grandson, two tense business partners, and long-term clients who had dropped him as their insurance agent. I was delighted to see how profoundly his…(Read More)
A friend may be writing a letter to me that I might not like. Although we’ve talked repeatedly, there are tensions between us that are still not resolved. Yesterday another acquaintance said my friend is composing a letter to me. He gave no details, just “He’s writing something for you.†Oh boy, what…(Read More)
God designed us to be three-dimensional in our relationships. Align yourself with this design, and your relationships prosper. Ignore it and they will inevitably suffer. The is the uniform message of Holy Scripture, early church patriarchs, and more recent theologians like C.S. Lewis, John Stott, John Frame and Tim Keller. The 3D’s…(Read More)
A slightly expanded version of this post is available here. God designed us to be three-dimensional in our relationships. Align yourself with this design, and your relationships prosper. Ignore it and they inevitably suffer. The 3D’s Are Everywhere From Genesis to Revelation, the Bible teaches us how to relate to God (love, trust…(Read More)
When emotions rise, rational thinking usually plummets. This is why I summarized the key principles in my book, The Peacemaker, as simple acrostics, such as the Seven A’s of Confession and the Four Promises of Forgiveness, which people can recall and apply even when emotions are clouding their judgment. Having seen the benefit of…(Read More)
I learned the hard way how easy it is to breach a dam. When I was fourteen, my dad hired a contractor to enlarge a stock pond on our ranch by building a dam. It was ten feet high and thirty feet thick at its base. As the pond filled, we discovered that the dirt…(Read More)
It’s pretty hard to find a good confession in a modern movie … but here’s a great one. This clip comes from the movie Fireproof. Kirk Cameron plays a young fireman whose marriage is falling apart due to his selfishness, insensitivity, addiction to pornography, and violent temper. Erin Bethea plays his wife, Catherine, who…(Read More)
Today’s film clip is taken from the movie To End All Wars. Based on a book by the same title, this movie chronicles the suffering and spiritual transformation of a British soldier named Ernest Gordon. Captured by the Japanese just months after the attack on Pearl Harbor, Gordon was put to work on the…(Read More)
“The last of the human freedoms is to choose one’s attitude.†So wrote Viktor Frankl, an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist who survived the Holocaust, living through the deprivation and horrors of both Auschwitz and Dachau. Consider the background for his writing about freedom. His wife, parents, and brother were killed by the Nazis. His…(Read More)
Do you know an impulsive teenager? A frustrated wife? A detached husband? A resentful employee? A relationally clumsy pastor? If so, read on. Six years ago I developed a relational tool called “the SOG plan†as an alternative to selling my teenage daughter. When Megan hit fifteen, her emotions went into hyper-drive. Her limbic…(Read More)