Many pastors are much better at imparting information than they are at building relationships. They are comfortable in their studies. They love their books. They pride themselves on their sound doctrine. They come alive in the pulpit as they proclaim “the wisdom of God†through carefully-crafted sermons. But when it comes to engaging…(Read More)
Do you want to learn how to connect with people? Really connect? To touch others heart-to-heart, life-to-life? To convince them you understand and care about them? To move them toward actions that are right and good and pleasing to God? Then learn how to connect with their hearts by describing experiences…(Read More)
Cinderella Man is packed with examples of relational wisdom. Russell Crowe plays the part of a real life hero named James J. Braddock. Once a successful heavyweight boxer, Braddock was reduced to poverty by a broken hand and the Great Depression. After losing their home, he and his family were forced to live in a…(Read More)
Every person on the face of the earth has a God-given capacity for empathy and compassion. Like every other ability, however, empathy does not improve on its own. But with deliberate practice, each of us can see steady and lasting improvement in this vital relational skill, which powerfully reflects the image of Christ in…(Read More)
She stood in line quietly crying, holding onto a metal sign to steady herself. I’d just arrived at the airport gate, ready to catch my flight back to Billings. As I waited for my zone to be called, I noticed her wiping the tears from her cheeks. She was a complete stranger, so I…(Read More)
Your worldview is always operating in the background of daily life. It gives rise to the beliefs and values that guide your attitudes and behavior, which determine the quality of your relationships. This combination of worldview, beliefs and values also determines how you face the major challenges and crises of life. Such as three forms…(Read More)
Today you are going to meet people who are hiding great emotional and relational pain. They will typically smile and say a few superficial words, but they will seldom reveal their inner struggles … usually because they do not believe you would understand or really care. As they walk away, you will have missed an…(Read More)
Don’t miss the special webinar invitation at the end of this blog! I ran into Jim while standing in line at Starbucks. We’d known each other for years, so it was only natural to ask, “How are you today?†I normally hear an upbeat, “I’m OK,†when I ask this question. Jim…(Read More)
C.S. Lewis and I have something in common: there was a time when each of us became an embarrassment to our friends. Lewis endured this uncomfortable experience after his wife, Joy, died. Here is what he wrote in A Grief Observed: “An odd by-product of my loss is that I’m aware of…(Read More)
This true story from an airline pilot about a fallen soldier’s journey home illustrates a the importance of always being alert to opportunities to show kindness to other people. Here is what the pilot wrote. My lead flight attendant came to me and said, “We have a fallen soldier on this flight.” “Is there…(Read More)
Deputy Matt Holman saved the life of a homeless man staggering toward destruction. His name was Robert Morris. He’d lost his family, become an addict, and was living in a tent in the woods … until it was washed away late one night in a flood. As Mr. Morris reported in a recorded 911 call…(Read More)
My first job out of law school was to clerk for a federal judge. He served on appellate courts around the country, so we often traveled together. One week I left early so I could attend a Christian Legal Society Conference in Chicago before flying on to join the Judge in Washington, D.C. The…(Read More)
When I graduated from college, I was hired by a medical R&D company that was developing an advanced kidney dialysis machine. Within one year I was promoted to serve as the project manager. That’s when the trouble started. Within 24 hours of my promotion, I realized I had zero training on how…(Read More)
When he was two-and-half-years-old, my grandson, Andrew, came across a fresh pile of dog poo in the yard. Having been told repeatedly to stay away from dog piles, he of course felt an irresistible desire to step on it and squish it around. Not liking the odor, he walked across the…(Read More)
Bridge of Spies is one of the most inspirational movies I’ve seen in years. It reminds me why I went to law school — I had a love for justice, a respect for the biblical roots of the U.S. legal system, and a desire to defend those who could not help themselves. It also…(Read More)
Last week a young McDonald’s fast-food worker named Kenny provided a magnificent example of compassion. His selfless act was described by Destiny Carreno, whose report has been viewed over 2.3 million times on Facebook and other social media. Here is what she wrote: Seeing this today brought tears to my eyes! Compassion…(Read More)
Next Sunday is Mother’s Day. If you’re tired of doing the same “card and gift†routine, allow me to suggest something that your mother will remember the rest of her life. Since she devoted much of her life to serving you, I encourage you to make a special effort to SERVE her next…(Read More)
When was the last time you did something that was so amazingly kind that others will remember your actions the rest of their lives? If it’s been awhile, I encourage you to take two minutes to watch a video clip of some young men who refused to play basketball against another team … as an…(Read More)
Before I became a lawyer, I worked as an engineer on a team that designed hemodialysis machines. While talking with patients going through dialysis, I learned how hard it is to live without a kidney. Therefore, when I heard about a taxi driver who gave his kidney to a passenger because “God thought it was…(Read More)
A tender-hearted, 12-year-old boy has shown that God can use the tragic events in Ferguson, Missouri, to move people to a deeper level of understanding, compassion, and connection. The boy, Devonte Hart, was holding a sign offering “Free Hugs†during a Tuesday march in Portland, Oregon, in response to the grand jury…(Read More)
Would you like to change the world around you? Then make it a habit to do three acts of kindness every day. Do it consistently for a year, and you’ll bless those around you with 1,000 acts of kindness. Since kindness is contagious, many of the people you touch may turn around and…(Read More)
I recently learned that I have stage IV cancer. A month ago a surgeon removed my thyroid and over forty lymph nodes. Radiation treatment should begin in a few days. Then a week of isolation until the radioactive iodine leaves my system. Then the waiting begins … Not something I would have chosen on my…(Read More)
My daughter was sitting on the floor in my study crying softly. Megan had been sharing a sad story with me, and her emotions overflowed in tears. Her two-year-old son, Andrew, was playing in his room nearby. When he heard his mother crying, he pulled some tissues from a Kleenex box, walked into…(Read More)
Without empathy, it’s hard to have real relationship. The good news is that since each of us has a natural capacity for developing and exercising empathy. Are you practicing this marvelous gift in your life? If not, here is an acrostic that can help you become a more empathetic person: Enlist all of your…(Read More)
“What is the biblical model, motive, and method for empathy and compassion?†That’s the question I asked last week as we began our study of these two relational qualities. This week I’m going to let you to answer these questions for yourself. Before doing so, let’s review two definitions: Empathy is generally…(Read More)
Last week I posted an RW Quiz based on a short video clip about a woman in Thailand who was dying of cancer. I was impressed by the many insightful answers I received. The only problem was that I had a difficult time selecting the best answers … there were so many good ones from…(Read More)
One night in the early years of our marriage, Corlette and I had such an intense disagreement that we went to bed unreconciled. Yes, we ignored the wisdom principle to not let the sun go down on our anger. As we lay there facing away from each other, a bizarre contest developed. Without either one…(Read More)
Jessica Long was born in Siberia … without legs. Left at a grim orphanage as a baby, she’s gone on to win twelve gold medals. I’d give her a thirteenth, in relational wisdom. Born as Tatiana Kirillovain 1992, Jessica was placed in an orphanage because of her birth defect. She was adopted by Beth…(Read More)
Do people feel relationally safe in your home? Your church? Your school? Your business? Is it the place they long to come to when the problems of the world seem overwhelming? Is it a haven of understanding, acceptance, and security? It can be. Your home, church, school or business can be like the classroom that…(Read More)