Many pastors are much better at imparting information than they are at building relationships. They are comfortable in their studies. They love their books. They pride themselves on their sound doctrine. They come alive in the pulpit as they proclaim “the wisdom of God†through carefully-crafted sermons. But when it comes to engaging…(Read More)
In today’s movie clip, Will Smith demonstrates the enormous benefit relational wisdom (RW) can have in the workplace. The clip comes from the movie Pursuit of Happiness. It is based on the true story of Chris Gardner. In the weeks leading up to this scene, he ran out of money and has been trying…(Read More)
Cinderella Man is packed with examples of relational wisdom. Russell Crowe plays the part of a real life hero named James J. Braddock. Once a successful heavyweight boxer, Braddock was reduced to poverty by a broken hand and the Great Depression. After losing their home, he and his family were forced to live in a…(Read More)
As the Civil War was coming to an end, it seemed inevitable that the North would prevail. President Lincoln had many discussions with administration “hardliners,†who hotly opposed his intention to be merciful and generous to the South. During one particularly heated conversation, one of those men rebuked Lincoln, saying that the North must “destroy…(Read More)
I have dozens of passports, and I need to renew them constantly. No, I’m not James Bond or Jason Bourne. I don’t fly from country to country using alternative identities to evade the NSA, CIA, or MI6. I just love people. I enjoy meeting, understanding, encouraging and helping them. And for that I…(Read More)
She stood in line quietly crying, holding onto a metal sign to steady herself. I’d just arrived at the airport gate, ready to catch my flight back to Billings. As I waited for my zone to be called, I noticed her wiping the tears from her cheeks. She was a complete stranger, so I…(Read More)
We all know the Golden Rule: “Do to others as you would have them do to you.†But do you know the Golden Result? It’s a direct corollary to the Golden Rule: “Other people will usually treat you the way you treat them.†Not always, but usually. Because that’s how God made us…(Read More)
My daughter, Megan, was eighteen months old when she decided to test her smile on a Hells Angel. Just before a vacation in Jackson, Wyoming, she had learned what a fun response she could get from adults when she beamed a big smile and gave them an enthusiastic, “Hi!†Whether we were sitting in a…(Read More)
She was working the early shift at a small Starbucks counter in Dulles Airport. The young barista had probably been up since 4 or 5 a.m., and she already looked worn out. After placing my order with the cashier I stood by the counter while the barista finished the coffee ordered just before me…(Read More)
It’s never smart to offend someone who has discretionary authority over your life. Such as the ticket agent I watched as she juggled an overbooked flight. She was waiting for two couples who had confirmed seats but had not yet appeared at the gate. I was on standby and would not make the flight…(Read More)
When I graduated from college, I was hired by a medical R&D company that was developing an advanced kidney dialysis machine. Within one year I was promoted to serve as the project manager. That’s when the trouble started. Within 24 hours of my promotion, I realized I had zero training on how…(Read More)
My heart is glad every time I receive an email or phone call from my dear friend, Mart Green. It’s partly because he’s always praising God for how he’s moving in Mart’s family, church, business, or the ministries he loves to serve. But it’s also because Mart ends every email…(Read More)
Highly relational people love to breathe grace. They draw continually on the goodness and power of Jesus Christ, and then they breathe his love, kindness and wisdom into all of their relationships. This is what the Apostle Paul had in mind in Ephesians 4:29, where he calls each of us to “give grace†to…(Read More)
If you’d like to see some vivid examples of relational wisdom, be sure to see Disney’s latest release, McFarland, U.S.A. The movie is based on the true story of a 1987 cross country team from a predominantly Mexican-American high school in McFarland, California. Kevin Costner stars as coach Jim White…(Read More)
One of the most dramatic reconciliations I ever witnessed involved five brothers and a sister who were fighting over their parents’ estate. Their relationship had deteriorated so badly that one brother nearly assaulted his siblings with a baseball bat. But then God did something amazing through a relationally wise pastor. I chronicled their story in…(Read More)
I recently found thirteen dogs and one cat who show us how to enjoy a peaceful holiday meal. In the process they demonstrate a central dynamic of relational wisdom (click here if video screen does not appear below). There is a beautiful story behind this creative clip, as well as an inspiring life lesson. All…(Read More)
Before I became a lawyer, I worked as an engineer on a team that designed hemodialysis machines. While talking with patients going through dialysis, I learned how hard it is to live without a kidney. Therefore, when I heard about a taxi driver who gave his kidney to a passenger because “God thought it was…(Read More)
Would you like to change the world around you? Then make it a habit to do three acts of kindness every day. Do it consistently for a year, and you’ll bless those around you with 1,000 acts of kindness. Since kindness is contagious, many of the people you touch may turn around and…(Read More)
There are three things I’d like to do to put a smile on your face this week. First, I’d like to offer you a 40% discount on our online seminar, Discovering Relational Wisdom. The concepts presented in this seminar have been taught to over 20,000 people in the past two years. Here…(Read More)
“What is the biblical model, motive, and method for empathy and compassion?†That’s the question I asked last week as we began our study of these two relational qualities. This week I’m going to let you to answer these questions for yourself. Before doing so, let’s review two definitions: Empathy is generally…(Read More)
Last week I posted an RW Quiz based on a short video clip about a woman in Thailand who was dying of cancer. I was impressed by the many insightful answers I received. The only problem was that I had a difficult time selecting the best answers … there were so many good ones from…(Read More)
“I have four hundred and twenty-two friends, yet I’m lonely.†So starts a video clip that’s been viewed six million times in just one week—and stirred up some intense disagreement along the way. This clip has a lot to say about relationships … or the lack thereof. So I encourage you watch…(Read More)
Do people feel relationally safe in your home? Your church? Your school? Your business? Is it the place they long to come to when the problems of the world seem overwhelming? Is it a haven of understanding, acceptance, and security? It can be. Your home, church, school or business can be like the classroom that…(Read More)
Megan was eighteen months old when she decided to test her smile on a Hells Angel. Just before a vacation in Jackson, Wyoming, she had learned what a fun response she could get from adults when she beamed a big smile and gave them an enthusiastic, “Hi!” Whether we were sitting in a restaurant, browsing…(Read More)
Many pastors are much better at imparting information than they are at building relationships. They are comfortable in their studies. They love their books. They pride themselves on their sound doctrine. They come alive in the pulpit as they proclaim “the wisdom of God†through carefully-crafted sermons. But when it comes to engaging their…(Read More)
Not long ago, I was once again was well-served by an outstanding medical team. Over a dozen people at the Billings Clinic pooled their training and talents to repair a small hernia in my abdomen. From beginning to end, they cared for me with the utmost in professional skill and personal attention. As a…(Read More)
Here is an easy, painless, and guaranteed way to deal with the relational challenges of the holidays (if video screen does not appear below, click here). Actually, there is no such thing as an easy, painless, and guaranteed way to deal with relational challenges. Like everything else of real value, relationships are worthy of a…(Read More)
Children often demonstrate far more relational wisdom than adults. Simply compare the bullying scandal in the Miami Dolphins locker room with the remarkable sensitivity shown to a learning-disabled teen by the Olivet Eagles, a middle school football team from Olivet, Michigan. Watch this short clip, and these kids will show you how dying to…(Read More)
She was working the early shift at a small Starbucks counter in Dulles Airport. The young barista had probably been up since 4 or 5 a.m., and she already looked worn out. After placing my order with the cashier I stood by the counter while the barista finished the coffee ordered just before me…(Read More)
I have dozens of passports, and I need to renew them constantly. No, I’m not James Bond or Jason Bourne. I don’t fly from country to country using alternative identities to evade the NSA, CIA, or MI6. I just love people. I enjoy meeting, understanding, encouraging, and helping them. And for that I…(Read More)
