Thousands of high school and college seniors are about to graduate and launch into the next season of their lives. Most of them are less prepared for that transition than they realize. Regardless of how well they’ve done academically, most graduates today suffer...
RW Blog
Are You Velcro or Teflon?
Kelly can be one of the best friends in the world. She’s thoughtful, caring, and always eager to encourage and serve others. The people in her Bible study and small group always look forward to seeing her, and her coworkers think she is one of the most pleasant...
Emotionally Hijacked Official Loses Job
I inherited my love for practical jokes from my uncles. One of them was particularly adept at catching me off guard. Like the time he called me on the phone and said he was a police officer with a warrant for my arrest for unpaid traffic tickets. His timing was...
Two Free eBooklets on Empathy
Every person on the face of the earth has a God-given capacity for empathy and compassion. Like every other ability, however, empathy does not improve on its own. But with deliberate practice, each of us can see steady and lasting improvement in this vital relational...
A Wave of Confessions Saves a Church
At last he had his chance. Clutching his prepared statement in his hand, Mark sat down in the front pew, ready to get even with the elders (all names have been changed). Six months earlier they had refused to support his promotion to senior pastor. They had stood...
What Makes Powerful People Cry
I recently learned what makes some of the most powerful people in the world cry. Dr. Michael Lindsay, President of Gordon College, has interviewed 550 of the most successful political, business, and nonprofit leaders in the United States. This group included two U.S....
Confession Killers
If you want to diminish the value of a confession, use one of these three phrases. “I’m sorry if I’ve done something to upset you.†When you use "if" in a confession, what people often hear is, “I don’t know that I’ve done anything wrong, but since...
The Most Compelling Kind of Influence
In 1997, Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt won Academy Awards for Best Actor and Actress for their roles in the romantic comedy, As Good As it Gets. Throughout the movie, Helen Hunt demonstrates one of the most compelling ways to influence others. Before I describe her...
Destroy Your Enemies
As the Civil War was coming to an end, it seemed inevitable that the North would prevail. President Lincoln had many discussions with administration “hardliners,†who hotly opposed his intention to be merciful and generous to the South. During one particularly...
Glory to God and Peace Among Men
My mother passed away ten years ago on Christmas Eve. She was totally at peace and eager to see her Savior face-to-face. Not so my father. In the last hours of his life, he was anything but peaceful. He was painfully aware of his many sins but had not put his trust in...
Building Passport
I have dozens of passports, and I need to renew them constantly. No, I’m not James Bond or Jason Bourne. I don’t fly from country to country using alternative identities to evade the NSA, CIA, or MI6. I just love people. I enjoy meeting, understanding, encouraging...
500,000 and Counting!
Just before Christmas, I learned that over 500,000 copies of The Peacemaker are now in circulation in seventeen different languages. I also discovered that we are now seeing 400 unique visitors to our website every day, usually to read our weekly blog on relational...
Your Legacy
What is the greatest legacy you could pass on to your children and grandchildren? Lavish Christmas presents? Money? Property? Investments? Family name? Social or business connections? Nope. None of these items is guaranteed to bless others. In fact, all of these...
Be Kind
She stood in line quietly crying, holding onto a metal sign to steady herself. I’d just arrived at the airport gate, ready to catch my flight back to Billings. As I waited for my zone to be called, I noticed her wiping the tears from her cheeks. She was a complete...
Two Huge Doors
The Lord has opened two huge doors for us in 2018. One of them would enable us to train hundreds of Christian leaders in 145 countries. The other would allow us to serve thousands of U.S. military families. But we need your help to do this. The need for and value of...
The Golden Result
We all know the Golden Rule: “Do to others as you would have them do to you.†But do you know the Golden Result? It’s a direct corollary to the Golden Rule: “Other people will usually treat you the way you treat them.†Not always, but usually. Because...
10 Ways to Connect Deeply at Thanksgiving
Would you like to move beyond superficial conversation during your Thanksgiving gathering this year? Would you like to connect deeply with your family and friends and hear them share stories about the most meaningful people and events of their lives? If so, give each...
Stupidity of Bitterness
Indulging in bitterness is one of the most stupid things we ever do. How stupid is it? Well, think about it this way. Imagine that someone stabbed you in the arm with a knife, leaving it there. After he flees, you stare in horror at the knife, then in agony take the...
Marty and the Woman at the Well
Today you are going to meet people who are hiding great emotional and relational pain. They will typically smile and say a few superficial words, but they will seldom reveal their inner struggles … usually because they do not believe you would understand or really...
Opportunities in Europe
Amidst all the social and political turmoil in Europe, God is moving to renew the biblical church and re-evangelize countries that have forgotten their Christian heritage. I’d like to invite you to join me in supporting this exciting movement. My involvement...
7 Steps for Leaving a Church Wisely
I’ve talked with many people who left their churches. Some did it for valid reasons and made the transition wisely and graciously. Others were driven by pride, bitterness or resentment, however, and their departures often caused considerable confusion and pain to...
Five Ways to Amaze People Who Leave Your Church
A few days ago, a woman told me a heart-breaking story about her pastor. Cindy was born and raised at First Church, and Pastor Smith’s teaching had laid the foundation for her faith (all names changed). He had been like a second father to Cindy, gently guiding her...
Two Things You’re Not Designed For
There are two things you and I were never designed to experience: death and rejection. That is why they both feel so foreign and hurt so much: they are utterly contrary to what we were made for. When God created the world, everything in it was “very good†(Gen....
A Lost Baby, $200M Lawsuit and an Astonishing Reconciliation
It's not often that pastoral counseling sets the stage for a kidnapping, a $200 million lawsuit and crying attorneys. But that is exactly what happened when Cindy and Clark went to their pastor, Paul, for marriage counseling (names changed but story used by...
A Common Lust
I share a lust with St. Augustine. Although he was a pillar of the church, he regularly prayed, “O Lord, deliver me from this lust of always vindicating myself.†We all inherited this lust from our original parents, who invented the art of excusing sin by blaming...
Seven Benefits of a Smile
My daughter, Megan, was eighteen months old when she decided to test her smile on a Hells Angel. Just before a vacation in Jackson, Wyoming, she had learned what a fun response she could get from adults when she beamed a big smile and gave them an enthusiastic,...
Curse or Consecrate
Three months before graduating from law school, I decided I did not want to be a lawyer. Two years of interning for a plaintiff’s attorney had shown me that the adversarial system brought out my worst characteristics: pride, aggressiveness, and a compulsive desire...