Last week a young McDonald’s fast-food worker named Kenny provided a magnificent example of compassion. His selfless act was described by Destiny Carreno, whose report has been viewed over 2.3 million times on Facebook and other social media. Here is what she wrote: Seeing this today brought tears to my eyes! Compassion…(Read More)
Corlette and I have very different depth perception. A car that I see as being a hundred feet away she sees as being a hundred inches away. So when I’d make a left turn with a car coming towards us in the opposite lane, she would tense up, grab the door handle, and jam…(Read More)
My heart is glad every time I receive an email or phone call from my dear friend, Mart Green. It’s partly because he’s always praising God for how he’s moving in Mart’s family, church, business, or the ministries he loves to serve. But it’s also because Mart ends every email…(Read More)
A friend may be writing a letter to me that I might not like. Although we’ve talked repeatedly, there are tensions between us that are still not resolved. Yesterday another acquaintance said my friend is composing a letter to me. He gave no details, just “He’s writing something for you.†Oh boy, what…(Read More)
Rich, a dear friend of mine, had a horrible conflict with his neighbor, Cynthia. A property line dispute that began with debates in the back yard had evolved into heated arguments. Eventually Cynthia filed a lawsuit. As an attorney and certified conciliator, Rich felt guilty and embarrassed that he had been unable to resolve the…(Read More)
When was the last time you did something that was so amazingly kind that others will remember your actions the rest of their lives? If it’s been awhile, I encourage you to take two minutes to watch a video clip of some young men who refused to play basketball against another team … as an…(Read More)
If you’d like to see some vivid examples of relational wisdom, be sure to see Disney’s latest release, McFarland, U.S.A. The movie is based on the true story of a 1987 cross country team from a predominantly Mexican-American high school in McFarland, California. Kevin Costner stars as coach Jim White…(Read More)
One of the most dramatic reconciliations I ever witnessed involved five brothers and a sister who were fighting over their parents’ estate. Their relationship had deteriorated so badly that one brother nearly assaulted his siblings with a baseball bat. But then God did something amazing through a relationally wise pastor. I chronicled their story in…(Read More)
I recently found thirteen dogs and one cat who show us how to enjoy a peaceful holiday meal. In the process they demonstrate a central dynamic of relational wisdom (click here if video screen does not appear below). There is a beautiful story behind this creative clip, as well as an inspiring life lesson. All…(Read More)
Before I became a lawyer, I worked as an engineer on a team that designed hemodialysis machines. While talking with patients going through dialysis, I learned how hard it is to live without a kidney. Therefore, when I heard about a taxi driver who gave his kidney to a passenger because “God thought it was…(Read More)
A tender-hearted, 12-year-old boy has shown that God can use the tragic events in Ferguson, Missouri, to move people to a deeper level of understanding, compassion, and connection. The boy, Devonte Hart, was holding a sign offering “Free Hugs†during a Tuesday march in Portland, Oregon, in response to the grand jury…(Read More)
Would you like to change the world around you? Then make it a habit to do three acts of kindness every day. Do it consistently for a year, and you’ll bless those around you with 1,000 acts of kindness. Since kindness is contagious, many of the people you touch may turn around and…(Read More)
I recently learned that I have stage IV cancer. A month ago a surgeon removed my thyroid and over forty lymph nodes. Radiation treatment should begin in a few days. Then a week of isolation until the radioactive iodine leaves my system. Then the waiting begins … Not something I would have chosen on my…(Read More)
Without empathy, it’s hard to have real relationship. The good news is that since each of us has a natural capacity for developing and exercising empathy. Are you practicing this marvelous gift in your life? If not, here is an acrostic that can help you become a more empathetic person: Enlist all of your…(Read More)
“What is the biblical model, motive, and method for empathy and compassion?†That’s the question I asked last week as we began our study of these two relational qualities. This week I’m going to let you to answer these questions for yourself. Before doing so, let’s review two definitions: Empathy is generally…(Read More)
Last week I posted an RW Quiz based on a short video clip about a woman in Thailand who was dying of cancer. I was impressed by the many insightful answers I received. The only problem was that I had a difficult time selecting the best answers … there were so many good ones from…(Read More)
I’ve seen a lot of foolish behavior during my thirty-two years as a professional conciliator. Like the man who divorced his lovely wife to marry a woman who had already been married and divorced six times. When I asked him whether he saw a pattern in her life, he said, “Yes I see…(Read More)
Have you ever been in a meeting that was about to explode? You could feel the tension building with each person’s comments and knew it was just a matter of time before the dynamite went off. It might have been a conversation with your spouse or teenager. Maybe it was a staff meeting at…(Read More)
Do people feel relationally safe in your home? Your church? Your school? Your business? Is it the place they long to come to when the problems of the world seem overwhelming? Is it a haven of understanding, acceptance, and security? It can be. Your home, church, school or business can be like the classroom that…(Read More)
When I’m in a business, church, or ministry meeting, my tendency is to get to the issues as quickly as possible. If I give into this urge, I usually regret it. When we rush into addressing business or ministry issues before we’ve connected with others at a heart level, our discussions are more…(Read More)
Many pastors are much better at imparting information than they are at building relationships. They are comfortable in their studies. They love their books. They pride themselves on their sound doctrine. They come alive in the pulpit as they proclaim “the wisdom of God†through carefully-crafted sermons. But when it comes to engaging their…(Read More)
Disney’s newest movie, Saving Mr. Banks, provides an excellent opportunity for discussing relational wisdom and sharing the gospel of Christ. The movie is built around the contentious relationship between Walt Disney and Pamela L. Travers, the author of the beloved book series, Mary Poppins. Tom Hanks and Emma Thompson play the leading roles with…(Read More)
God designed us to be three-dimensional in our relationships. Align yourself with this design, and your relationships prosper. Ignore it and they will inevitably suffer. The is the uniform message of Holy Scripture, early church patriarchs, and more recent theologians like C.S. Lewis, John Stott, John Frame and Tim Keller. The 3D’s…(Read More)
A slightly expanded version of this post is available here. God designed us to be three-dimensional in our relationships. Align yourself with this design, and your relationships prosper. Ignore it and they inevitably suffer. The 3D’s Are Everywhere From Genesis to Revelation, the Bible teaches us how to relate to God (love, trust…(Read More)
Here is an easy, painless, and guaranteed way to deal with the relational challenges of the holidays (if video screen does not appear below, click here). Actually, there is no such thing as an easy, painless, and guaranteed way to deal with relational challenges. Like everything else of real value, relationships are worthy of a…(Read More)
Are you already dreading the challenge of holiday shopping? Finding the right gifts for people who already have more stuff than they know what to do with? Then let me suggest a gift that your family, friends, and co-workers will remember long after the tree comes down: Christmas EGGs. Instead of wandering the aisles…(Read More)
Children often demonstrate far more relational wisdom than adults. Simply compare the bullying scandal in the Miami Dolphins locker room with the remarkable sensitivity shown to a learning-disabled teen by the Olivet Eagles, a middle school football team from Olivet, Michigan. Watch this short clip, and these kids will show you how dying to…(Read More)
Do you want to learn how to connect with people? Really connect? To touch others heart-to-heart, life-to-life? To convince them you understand and care about them? To move them toward actions that are right and good and pleasing to God? Then learn how to connect with their hearts by describing experiences…(Read More)
She was working the early shift at a small Starbucks counter in Dulles Airport. The young barista had probably been up since 4 or 5 a.m., and she already looked worn out. After placing my order with the cashier I stood by the counter while the barista finished the coffee ordered just before me…(Read More)
This is an awareness test. It takes only 50 seconds … but it could change your life (if video screen does not appear below, click here). Debrief If you missed the moon walking bear, you experienced a process known as “selective perception,†which is the unconscious filtering of what we see and hear so as…(Read More)
