The world lost a great actress a few days ago.
Mary Tyler Moore brought laughter to millions of people, especially in her role as Dick Van Dykeâ€™s sweet-spirited wife, Laura. Initially relegated to simply kissing her husband hello at the door, she matured into a beloved comic in her own right, bringing the house down when she got her toe stuck in a faucet or destroyed a family heirloom in her garbage disposal.
I can still remember the night that I first saw my favorite episode, â€œThe Night the Roof Fell In.â€ In addition to being downright hilarious, this episode vividly illustrates our common tendency to exaggerate our innocence and othersâ€™ guilt in the midst of conflict. I use the clip frequently for marriage retreats and to demonstrate why we all need to join St. Augustine in praying, â€œLord, please deliver me from this lust of always vindicating myself.â€
Itâ€™s 25 minutes long, so youâ€™ll need to set aside timeÂ to watch it. As youâ€™ll see, however, itâ€™s well worth the investment. (If a video screen does not appear below, click here.)
“Aren’t you exaggerating just a touch?” May God grant all of us friends who will speak such words to us when our desire for self-vindication overpowers our need to face and confess our own sin.
– Ken Sande
- Name some people in the Bible who played a similar “blame game.” What was the result? (see, e.g., Gen. 3:8-13; 1 Sam. 15:10-15)
- In what situations are you most likely to blame someone else for a problem rather than admit your wrongs?
- What does Scripture say warn us about concealing our sins and promise us about confessing them? (Prov. 28:13; 1 John 1:8-9)
- Is there anyone in your life who will confront you when you’re exaggerating your innocence? Describe a time when that happened? How did that person’s action affect your relationship?
- How does this clip illustrate the concept of “amygdala hijacking“? What could Rob or Laura have done to avoid being hijacked?
- How did this clip illustrate the “Golden Result“? (i.e., that people will usually treat us the way we treat them)
Permission to distribute:Â Please feel free to download, print, or electronically share this message in its entirety for non-commercial purposes with as many people as you like.
Â© 2017 Ken Sande
Would you like to receive future posts like this?Â Subscribe now!